Family Conflict

One of the more frustrating and saddening things we see happen to a family are the throes of a bitter divorce. The kids get caught in the middle, and the adults are so stuck, so attached to their anger and disappointment, that their suffering is actually lost in the storm.
On the other hand, a wise and well-planned separation can still be terribly painful to a kid, but it can be a time of growth and deepening understanding of their parents as well, so long as the kid's needs come first, always.

This comes to mind because my favorite law-blog, the Volokh Conspiracy (which is written by a Russian emigre who is also quite conservative, politically speaking) posted the following (if you are interested the comments are quite worth reading):

From Upton v. Upton, 1996 WL 397706 (Conn. Super. Ct.) (emphasis added):

Counsel for the minor children [age 14 and 17 -EV] articulate their strong desire to be primarily cared for in their father's home. Counsel is able to argue that the children are of a sufficient age to tell the court what their preference is, and that that preference is not for a manipulative purpose. The court has some concern as to the identification of these male children with not only their father, but more damaging to them, with their grandfather. Whether or not the children feel economic pressure to side with their father is unknown.

The deed has been done, however, and only healing over time will determine whether or not these children have an adult relationship with their mother. Hating one-half of themselves will not help them into the future. The court orders that counsel for the minor children read the opinion of the court to the children, and the court further requires that the children engage in supportive counseling to assist them in expressing their anger with their mother, and with their father for bringing them into this battle, and leaving them there for so long.